Earlier this afternoon, I was standing in the customer service line at a large department store, let’s call it Mal-Wart, waiting to return some stuff I could live without. I was standing for quit some time. One person was working the cash and there were 6 people in line ahead of me. I have ADD, so waiting in line for me is a kin to dying. I get bored very easily. When I encounter these painful situations I look around and try to find some trouble to get into. Well, I found it.

I looked to my left and read a sign directed at me, the customer. It read;

CUSTOMER NOTICE

THERE WILL NOT BE ANY PRICE ADJUSTMENTS ON PRE BOXING DAY OR ON BOXING DAY BLOWOUT SALES MERCHANDISE!!!

Why are they yelling at me? I didn’t buy anything pre boxing day or on boxing day. I stayed home that day. I’m no fool. Can you imagine the lines the day after Christmas. Oh the trouble I would have got in.

How do I know they are yelling at me?

1. Everything in Caps. If you use all caps for each and every word I assume you are talking big and loud.
2. ‘Not’ is underlined. So not only are you talking to me big and loud, the word ‘Not’ is even louder.
3. Three exclamation marks. THREE. (See what I did there with upper caps. That part was loud.) I don’t even think it’s grammatically kosher to use three exclamation marks in a row.

Caps + Underline + 3 Exclamation Marks = Yelling

The intention of the person who created the sign, no doubt, was not to yell at me. I’m sure he or she was a little tired of explaining to each and every costumer wanting to return that XBox 360 purchased on boxing day that the price they paid could not be adjust. I feel their frustration. It’s got to be tough. But is this the proper way to communicate this to your customer. I don’t think so.

Here is my Jab at the same notice;

CUSTOMER NOTICE (this part can be in caps. I want your attention)

Dear valued costumer,
Unfortunately we will not be able to make price adjustments on any of our blowout sale items that were purchased on and before boxing day. Sorry for any inconvenience.

There, isn’t that better? WELL ISN’T IT!!!???

About the Author: chris
These are the musings about a business brainchild contained within a creative confectionery of a mind. His blog entries often look at how making friends and building your brand online is a lot like making it on the playground.

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